Midlife Crisis

Midlife crisis is a term coined in 1965 by Elliott Jaques and used in Western societies to describe a period of dramatic self-doubt that is felt by some individuals in the "middle years" or middle age of life, as a result of sensing the passing of their own youth and the imminence of their old age. Sometimes, a crisis can be triggered by transitions experienced in these years, such as extramarital affairs, andropause or menopause, the death of parents or other causes of grief, unemployment or underemployment, realizing that a job or career is hated but not knowing how else to earn an equivalent living, or children leaving home. The result may be a desire to make significant changes in core aspects of day-to-day life or situation, such as in career, work-life balance, marriage, romantic relationships, big-ticket expenditures, or physical appearance.


Academic research since the 1980s rejects the notion of midlife crisis as a phase that most adults go through. In one study, fewer than 10% of people in the United States had psychological crises due to their age or aging. Personality type and a history of psychological crisis are believed to predispose some people to this "traditional" midlife crisis. People going through this suffer a variety of symptoms and exhibit a disparate range of behaviors.


Many middle aged adults experience major life events that can cause a period of psychological stress or depression, such as the death of a loved one, or a career setback. However, those events could have happened earlier or later in life, making them a "crisis," but not necessarily a midlife one. In the same study, 15% of middle-aged adults experienced this type of midlife turmoil.


Some studies indicate that some cultures may be more sensitive to this phenomenon than others, one study found that there is little evidence that people undergo midlife crises in Japanese and Indian cultures, raising the question of whether a midlife crises is mainly a cultural construct. The authors hypothesized that the "Culture of Youth" in Western societies accounts for the popularity of the midlife crisis concept there.


Researchers have found that midlife is often a time for reflection and reassessment, but this is not always accompanied by the psychological upheaval popularly associated with "midlife crisis."


For the approximately 10% of middle aged adults who go through an age-related midlife crisis, the condition is most common ranging from the ages of 40-60 (a large study in the 1990s found that the average age at onset of a self-described midlife crisis was 46). Midlife crises last about 3–10 years in men and 2–5 years in women.


Occurrence
A midlife crisis could be caused by aging itself, or aging in combination with changes, problems, or regrets over:
- Work or career (or lack thereof)
- Spousal relationships (or lack thereof)
- Maturation of children (or lack of children)
- Aging or death of parents
- Physical changes associated with aging


Midlife crises seem to affect men and women differently. Researchers have proposed that the triggers for midlife crisis differ between men and women, with male midlife crisis more likely to be caused by work issues. Some have hypothesized that another cause of the male midlife crisis is the imminent menopause of the female partner and end of her reproductive career.


Characteristics
At least some of the market for sports cars can be attributed to conspicuous consumption spurred by customers' midlife insecurities. Individuals experiencing a midlife crisis have some of these feelings:
- Search of an undefined dream or goal
- A deep sense of remorse for goals not accomplished
- A fear of humiliation amongst more successful colleagues
- Desire to achieve a feeling of youthfulness
- Need to spend more time alone or with certain peers


Insecurities go so far as to affixing the badge of an expensive sports car to a cheaper one, in an attempt to convey a false sense of success. They exhibit some of these behaviors:
- Abuse of alcohol
- Acquisition of unusual or expensive items such as motorbikes, boats, clothing, sports cars, jewelry, gadgets, tattoos, piercings, etc.
- Pretend acquisition of expensive items via non-authentic materials or automobile badge replacement
- Depression
- Blaming themselves for their failures
- Paying special attention to physical appearance such as covering baldness, wearing "younger" designer clothes etc.
- Entering relationships with younger people (either/or sexual, professional, parental, etc.)
- Placing overimportance (and possibly a psychologically damaging amount) on their children to excel in areas such as sports, arts or academics


Theoretical Basis
"The notion of the midlife crisis began with followers of Sigmund Freud, who thought that during middle age everyone’s thoughts were driven by the fear of impending death". Although midlife crisis has lately received more attention in popular culture than serious research, there are some theoretical constructs supporting the notion. Jungian theory holds that midlife is key to individuation, a process of self-actualization and self-awareness that contains many potential paradoxes. Although Carl Jung did not describe midlife crisis per se, the midlife integration of thinking, sensation, feeling, and intuition that he describes could, it seems, lead to confusion about one's life to date and one's goals.


Erik Erikson held that in life's seventh stage, middle adulthood, people struggle to find new meaning and purpose to their lives; their questioning, he believed, could lead to what we now call a midlife crisis.


Some psychologists believe men's midlife crisis is a psychological reaction to the imminent menopause and end of reproductive career of their spouses. Their genes may be influencing men to be more attracted to reproductive women, and less attached to their non-reproductive spouses.


Criticism
Some people have challenged the existence of midlife crises altogether. One study found that 23% of participants had what they called a "midlife crisis," but in digging deeper, only one-third of those—8% of the total—said the crisis was associated with realizations about aging.


The balance (15% of those surveyed) had experienced major life experiences or transitions such as divorce or loss of a job in middle age and described them as "midlife crisis." While there is no doubt these events can be traumatic—the associated grief reactions can be indistinguishable from depression -- these upheavals aren't unique to middle age and aren't an age-related midlife crisis.


University of California - Davis researchers Carolyn Alwin and Michael Levenson presented the current view of midlife crisis in a 2001 article:


Costa and McCrae (1980) found little evidence for an increase in neuroticism in midlife ... While they did find that some people were likely to experience such crises, ... these individuals were likely to experience crises in their 20s and 30s, and these experiences were not unique to midlife. ...Robinson, Rosenberg, and Farrell (1999) reinterviewed (500) men. Looking back over their midlife period, it became evident that while not necessarily entailing crisis, it was a time for re-evaluation."


Wrapping up their review of men's midlife crisis, Alwin and Levenson wrote that "... Given the bulk of the data, it is likely that, for most men, midlife is a time of achievement and satisfaction. For a certain proportion of men, however, the passage is not at all smooth." They found a similar pattern when they reviewed research on what are commonly thought to be triggers for women's midlife crisis: menopause, children leaving home, the "sandwich" of caring for both parents and children. Most women navigated those periods without a traumatic psychological "crisis."


The enduring popularity of the midlife crisis concept may be explained by another finding by Robinson et al. As Alwin and Levenson summarize: "... younger men, now middle-aged Baby Boomers, used the term "midlife crisis" to describe nearly any setback, either in their career or family life."


Levinson's findings were research about the possible existence of a midlife crisis and its implications. Whereas Levinson (1978) found that 80% of middle-aged participants had a crisis, and Ciernia (1985) reported that 70% of men in midlife said they had a crisis (Shek, 1996) others could not replicate those findings including Shek (1996), Kruger (1994), McCrae and Costa (1990), and Whitbourne (2010). The debate of whether or not there is a midlife crisis is being answered through recent research that attempts to balance such factors as response bias and experimenter effects in order to establish internal validity. The above mentioned research does not support Levinson's model of a single age in the middle years that is a designated time of transition and potential "crisis." Instead, changes in personality can occur throughout the adult years with no peak in general distress or psychosocial crisis (Whitbourne, Sneed, and Sayer, 2009).


For the most part, at all ages researchers in Positive Adult Development have found improvement or at worst, stasis for most of the population.


In Popular Culture
The midlife crisis has been the subject of many television series and films, often the source of amusement in sitcoms, soaps and other television productions. The 1970s Polish television series, Czterdziestolatek meaning "The 40-Year-Old" was entirely geared towards covering midlife crisis issues in a comedy series. In the Australian television series, Neighbours, Karl Kennedy went though a midlife crisis dating young women and changing his appearance.


While the classic 1955 movie The Seven Year Itch deals with the supposed decline of marital quality after seven years of marriage, the protagonist Richard Sherman (played by Tom Ewell) is obviously going through a midlife crisis. In fact, the book that proposes the seven-year-itch hypothesis, entitled "Of Man and the Unconscious", even has a chapter on "The Repressed Urge in the Middle-Aged Male: Its Roots and lts Consequences" connecting it to the midlife crisis in men. As an editor for a publishing house, Sherman reads – and reads into – this psychological study which he believes directly corresponds to increasingly erotic, frenetic, and ultimately frantic daydreams stemming from his flirtation with the new nubile neighbor upstairs (Marilyn Monroe in one of her most memorable roles).


Decidedly more serious takes on the subject include John Cheever's short stories, "The Country Husband" and "The Swimmer", shedding light on modern '60s era suburbia, as well as more bittersweet and timely turns at the turn of the millennium in the films American Beauty (2000 Academy Awards Best Picture winner) and Lost in Translation.


English progressive rocker, Roger Waters, formerly of Pink Floyd, also released a solo album, The Pros and Cons of Hitch-Hiking, which explores a man and his midlife crisis as he dreams of having an affair and tries desperately to find solutions to his problems. Similarly, The Kinks' songs, "Shangri-La" and "Clichés of the World (B Movie)", also appear to describe someone going through a midlife crisis.

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Social Exchange Theory

S†MoN® says:
"Social exchange theory is based upon rewards and costs of a relationship. We base our decision to develop or maintain a relationship from the amount of profits that we could receive. Social exchange uses the equation: Rewards - Costs = Profits to figure out whether a relationship is worth the time. Usually, the typical person decides to pursue relationships where the rewards are greater than the cost. They understand that in order to get the rewards that there will be costs that they will have to deal with. Social exchange practice is based upon the degree of intimacy in a relationship. We disclose more and develop a closer relationship with the person we work with; we see him for numerous amount of hours a week, plan and act with him on tasks and develop campaigns from scratch. In the advertising world, such practice is observed to be essential between colleagues. The level of stress and frustration swallowed push each and every one to the limit. Individuals tend to crack under heavy loads of work and pressure. Therefore, time to unwind is very essential and vital. But we must not neglect that a person should have the ability to deal with others. Social exchange between colleagues positively affects the overall outcome and performance of a company. It also help increase the level of communication and talent of every party".  

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The 10 Most Common Presentation Mistakes

What presentation mistakes are sure-fire ways to put your audience to sleep or send them running for the doors? Even the best presentation can be destroyed by a bad presenter -- from the person who mumbles, to the one who talks too fast, to the one who just wasn’t prepared. But perhaps nothing is as irritating as the person who misuses and abuses presentation software. Read on to learn about the 10 most common presentation mistakes.


1. You Don't Know Your Topic!
You memorized the content (and it shows, by the way). Someone has a question. Panic sets in. You never prepared for questions and all you know about this topic is what is written on the slides.


A better scenario
Know your material so well, that you could easily do the presentation without an electronic enhancement such as PowerPoint. Nothing will ruin your credibility as a presenter faster, than not knowing everything about your topic. Use key words and phrases and include only essential information to keep the audience focused and interested. Be prepared for questions and know the answers.


2. The Slides Are NOT Your Presentation
An audience member says that she can't read the slides. You graciously tell her you will be reading them and proceed to do so, while looking up at the screen. Each of your slides in filled with the text of your speech. Why do they need you?


A better scenario
Always remember that you are the presentation. The slide show should only be used as anaccompaniment to your talk. Simplify the content, by using bullet points for key information. Keep the most important points near the top of the slide for easy reading in the back rows. Focus on a single topic area for this presentation and use no more than four bullets per slide.Speak to the audience, not to the screen.


3. T. M. I. (Too Much Information)
You know so much about the topic, that you jump from here to there and back again talking about everything there is to know about your brand new widget, and no one can follow the thread of the presentation.


A better scenario
Use the K.I.S.S. principle (Keep It Simple, Silly) when designing a presentation. Stick to three, or at the most, four points about your topic and expound on them. The audience will be more likely to retain the information.


4. Poorly Chosen Design Template or Design Theme
You heard blue was a good color for a design template or design theme. You found a really cool template/theme on the internet, with a beach scene. Water is blue, right? Unfortunately, your presentation is about some nifty new tools to show at a Woodcarvers’ convention.


A better scenario
Choose a design that is appropriate for the audience. A clean, straightforward layout is best for business presentations. Young children respond to presentations that are full of color and contain a variety of shapes.


5. Electrifying Color Choices
Audiences don't like unusual color combinations. Some are unsettling and red and green combos can't be differentiated by those with color blindness.


A better scenario
Good contrast with the background is essential to make your text easy to read. Dark text on a light background is best. Off white or light beige is easier on the eyes than the typical white. Dark backgrounds are very effective, if the text is light for easy reading. Patterned or textured backgrounds make text hard to read. Keep the color scheme consistent.


6. Poor Font Choices
Small, script type fonts might look great when you are sitting 18 inches away from the monitor. You didn't consider the lady sitting 200 feet away from the screen who can't read them.


A better scenario
Stick to easy to read fonts such as Arial or Times New Roman. Avoid script type fonts which are hard to read on screen. Use no more than two different fonts – one for headings, another for content and no less than a 30 pt font so that people at the back of the room can read them easily.


7. Extraneous Photos & Graphs
You figured no one will notice that you didn't do much research on your topic if you add lots of photos and complicated looking graphs.


A better scenario
“Time is Money” is really true in today's world. No one wants to waste their time sitting through a presentation with no substance. Use photos, charts and diagrams only to emphasize key points of your presentation. They add a nice break to the material, and when used correctly, can only enhance your oral presentation. Illustrate, don't decorate.


8. W-A-Y Too Many Slides
Your vacation cruise was so fantastic that you took 500 photos, and put them all in a digital photo album to impress your friends. After the first 100 slides, snores were heard in the room.


A better scenario
Ensure your audience stays focused by keeping the number of slides to a minimum. 10 to 12 is plenty. Some concessions can be made for a photo album, since most pictures will be on screen for only a short time. Be kind though. Think how much you enjoy everyone else’s vacation pictures!


9. Different Animations on Every Slide
You found all the really cool animations and sounds and used 85% of them in your presentation, to impress everyone with your flair. Except -- the audience doesn’t know where to look, and have totally lost the message of your presentation.


A better scenario
Animations and sounds, used well, can heighten interest, but don't distract the audience with too much of a good thing. Design your presentation with the "less is more” philosophy. Don't let your audience suffer from animation overload.


10. Hardware Malfunctions
The audience is settled. You are all set to start your presentation and - guess what? The projector doesn't work. You didn’t bother to check it out earlier.


A better scenario
Check all the equipment and rehearse your presentation, using this projector long before your time to present. Carry an extra projector bulb. If possible, check the lighting in the room you will be presenting in, prior to your time in the limelight. Make sure you know how to dim the lights if the room is too bright.

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Playing it Safe in the Social Media World

Rants about your boss or your job may have once been reserved for during after-work drinks at a bar, but employee gripes are now being voiced in the social media sphere.


Workplace complaints posted on popular sites such as Facebook, Twitter and MySpace could get you fired, and often times not hired. Workers should still be wary about what they post on social media sites. About a quarter of employers recently surveyed had disciplined an employee for improper activities on social networking sites. If a worker posts something negative, and a manager finds it, he or she can legally be fired.


Now, how can you engage in online forums without losing your job?


1. Think before you post
Imagine if the comment you posted or tweeted will appear in the local newspaper. While that rule of thumb may sound extreme, it is a safe way to manage your content. On a social media site, the audience is unlimited, and the content is permanent. An employee may post one photo and quickly remove it, but someone could still archive the page or make a copy.


2. Be picky about who you friend
Only allow people you trust into your social network. Instead of casually accepting all the co-workers or managers who ask to friend you, be selective about who you allow to view your posts. Employees may forget who they let into their network and that could lead to problems later on.


3. Do it on your own time and computer
Try to limit your Facebook and Twitter activity to your personal computer. If you engage in problematic activity on the company property and time, this can provide the managers more leverage. Many employers and workplaces already ban the sites at the workplace to prevent social media spats from becoming an issue.


4. Watch what you post at home
Many workers are unaware that mentioning their company in a negative light on the internet -- even if it's done on personal time at home -- could lead to disciplinary measures. Many organizations have departments that monitor social media comments and photographs that pertain to the company.


5. Keep the dialogue positive
Social media can be a great way to foster conversations about an employee's recent promotion or a company event. But certain topics such as trade secrets should never be disclosed online.


6. Figure out privacy settings
Social media privacy settings may be tricky, but take the time to consider all the different settings. Implementing filters and grouping co-workers and bosses is recommended so that certain information does not reach everyone.


7. Learn your employee rights
Employees need to make the effort to understand corporate policy regarding the use social media at work and at home. However, most companies don't have such policies in place.

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When Stress is Good for You

You may have heard that there's "good stress" and "bad stress." Do you know what people mean by that? We rarely hear people say, "I'm really feeling stressed -- isn't that great?" But if we didn't have some stress in our lives -- the 'good stress' variety -- we'd feel rudderless and unhappy. If we define stress as anything that alters our homeostasis, for good or for bad, then good stress, in its many forms, is vital for a healthy life. However, good stress can turn into bad stress, and vice-versa. Here's what you need to know about good stress.


Good Stress Vs. Bad Stress
So-called "good stress," or what psychologists refer to as "eustress," is the type of stress we feel when we feel excited. Our pulse quickens, our hormones change, but there is no threat or fear. We feel this type of stress when we ride a roller coaster, gun for a promotion, or go on a first date. There are many triggers for this good stress, and it keeps us feeling alive and excited about life.


Another type of stress is acute stress. It comes from quick surprises that need a response. Acute stress triggers the body's stress response as well, but the triggers aren't always happy and exciting. This is what we normally think of as "stress." Acute stress in itself doesn't take a heavy toll if we find ways to relax quickly. Once the stressor has been dealt with, we need to return our body to homeostasis, or its pre-stress state, to be healthy and happy.


The type of stress we really have to worry about is chronic stress. This type of stress comes when we repeatedly face stressors that take a heavy toll and feel inescapable. A stressful job or an unhappy home life can bring chronic stress. This is what we normally thing of as serious stress. Because our bodies aren't designed for chronic stress, we can face negative health effects (both physical and emotional) if we deal with chronic stress for an extended period of time.


Sources of Good Stress
Okay, back to good stress. Knowing about the different types of stress, it makes sense to get more good stress into your life. Because you actually can get too much of even the good type of stress, it's important to choose activities in your life that make you feel good, happy, and excited about life. It's also a good idea to cut out as many activities as you can that drain you, or lead to the experience of chronic stress. One good way to gauge whether or not an activity is worth your time is to pay attention to how the thought of it makes you feel. Do you feel excited at the thought? Is it a "want to" activity, or a "have to" activity? Be sure your "want to" activities are all things you really do want to do, and your "have to" activities are all absolutely necessary.


How Good Stress Can Become Bad Stress
Good stress can become bad for you if you experience too much of it. This is because your stress response is triggered either way, and if you're adding that to chronic stress, or several other stressors, there is still a cumulative effect: lots of stress! That's why it's important to be in tune with yourself and be able to tell when you've had too much.


How Bad Stress Can Become Good Stress
Not all forms of bad stress can become good stress, but it is possible to change your perception of some of the stressors in your life, and this shift in perception can change your experience of stress. This is because the body's stress response reacts strongly to perceived threats; if you don't perceive something as a threat, there is generally no threat-based stress response. If you perceive something as a challenge, the fear your would normally experience may turn into excitement and anticipation, or at least steeled resolve. You can often make the shift in perception by focusing on resources, seeing the hidden potential benefits of a situation, and reminding yourself of your strengths. Getting into the habit of thinking like an optimist can also help. Once you are in the practice of looking at things as challenges more often, it becomes more automatic.


Overall, it's important to have good stress in your life. By making the effort to cut out as much chronic stress as possible, changing your perception of stress where you can, and adding some positive activities in the mix to promote eustress, you can create a nice balance of good stress in your life.

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