Customers Driving You Crazy?

Common Problems and How to Cope.

Your customers' irrational behavior is biochemical in origin. To calm them down, stay cool yourself.

Here's a list of the seven most common problems with customers on adrenaline overload, and how to deal with them:

1. The customer can't follow simple directions
Under a flood of adrenaline, the brain loses its ability to do sequence. That means that steps one, two, and three become a hopeless jumble. If you tell them to walk down the hall, take a right, and go in the green door, they may get lost at the first turn.
Solution: Go along and show them the way, step by step, even if it strains your patience.

2. They snap at you when you're trying to help
The adrenaline-overloaded are edgy and get hostile around jargon or unfamiliar words. Think of the last time you had a computer problem and the techie started spouting geek at you. Wanted to kill him, right?
Solution: Keep your words short and simple. Repeat them as often as necessary.

3. They ignore signs and directions right under their noses
With too much adrenaline the brain loses its ability to pick out key objects. You've probably done this yourself: You're dashing out the door and suddenly you can't find your keys. After you tear the whole place apart, you realize they're sitting in front of you. This is how a customer manages not to see the warning on the back of the box, or the directions on the package.
Solution: Point out the information--calmly.

4. They ramble on and bring in every problem
It's the problem with sequence again. They can no longer tell what's on topic and what's off.
Solution: You'll need to walk them through it. Ask, What happened first? Then, Okay, then what happened next? As they step through the sequence, they'll probably become coherent again.

5. They don't listen to a thing you say
Adrenaline causes people to lose the ability to take in new information. They're not purposely ignoring you. It's just that that part of their brain is now disconnected.
Solution: Talk slowly and draw the customer a simple map or diagram to emphasize your words. If they can't recall what you said, at least they can look at the diagram.

6. They argue even when you agree with them
Remember, they may not be able to hear what you said. You could offer them a free trip to China and it won't matter if they can't hear you.
Solution: Ask simple sequence questions until the customer calms down. Then make your offer or state your proposal.

7. They make you as frazzled as they are
Adrenaline flooding is contagious. That means that, even as they tell you that rambling story, you're losing your ability to listen to it. Luckily, calm is contagious too. Keep breathing deeply, keep your voice low and steady, and you can bring them around to you.

Needless to say, this is going to take some practice, but look at the bright side: Once you've mastered the art of dealing with fractious, adrenaline-overloaded customers, you can use the same techniques on irate colleagues--or a ranting boss. In all, a skill set well worth cultivating, wouldn't you say?