How to Break a Bad Habit

It's easy to want to stop biting your nails, or throwing your clothes on the floor, or forgetting to wash your face before you go to bed... but how do you actually do it?

First, Choose Your New, GOOD Habit

When you think about the bad habit that you want to break, envision a new, good habit that will replace it. For instance, instead of leaving your clothes on the floor at night, you're going to strive to hang your clothes up or put them in the hamper -- that's your new, good habit. Or, instead of biting your nails, you're going to practice replacing that with something positive -- like putting lotion on your hands (bonus if it tastes bad) or massaging your fingers.

Notice how "practice" is dropped in there? That's because practice is exactly what it's going to take. By repeating your new habit over and over again, you're training your brain. It's kind of like what happens when you walk through the woods every day the same way -- your path gets trampled into the ground, and then you start walking there automatically. If you want to change the path, it takes effort at first to remember not to take the old one... but eventually you'll trample a new one, and that will be where your feet go without thinking.

Now, once you know what new good habit-path you're going to trample inside your head, how do you go about stomping it in?

One at a time, tiger. Don't try to pick up every good habit out there all at once. You might get frustrated and burn out, and give up on all of it. Pick one, stick with it, and accomplish it. That will give you the fuel to move onto another one.

Set a date to start, and make it official. Today or tomorrow are fine days to start. Or maybe next Monday. Whatever day you decide on, mark it on your calendar to make it official. Write out your goal in your journal, so it becomes more real. And if you can handle it, tell other people about the new habit you want to pick up. That way, they can hold you to it. But be warned: it can be kind of annoying when they remind you. So apologize to them ahead of time for any snappiness that might happen.

Work out your 21-day plan of attack. Experts say it takes about 21 days for a new habit to stick (i.e., a new path to get trampled in your head). So, if you remember to put on your deodorant for 21 days in a row, it should become piece-of-cake-like. Mark up a calendar with your 21 days, and get yourself some stickers or a special pen to mark the end of each day that you've stuck to your new habit.

If the new habit is going to be a particularly tough one for you to pick up, be sure to set up mini-goals with mini-rewards attached. Maybe the three-day mark will be a hugey for you. For nail-biting, it could easily be day one... or hour two. But as your plan progresses, milestones and rewards should become fewer and farther between. If this new good habit is one that your parents will be psyched about, they might be willing to donate some of those rewards.

What if you mess up? You're not being graded or anything, and "21 days" isn't a magic formula. The real proof of your success will come when your new habit is automatic to you. This is hard stuff, though, so be patient with yourself. If you mess up, you're human... but you should keep going with your plan. By day 21, you might have it down pat, even though you missed a day. Or, you might need to keep going with your goals and rewards for a little while longer, until it sticks. If you persist, your real reward will come: the day you don't even have to think about it.