Mom's Dictionary

- AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.
- DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
- FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
- FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
- FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
- GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
- HEARSAY: What [toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
- IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
- INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
- OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
- PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
- SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.
- STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
- TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
- TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
- VERBAL: able to whine in words
- WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house...