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How to take Criticism without getting Defensive

It's a key career skill, yet most of us have little experience at putting negative feedback to work for us.

Accepting constructive criticism (from mentors and bosses, or even peers) without flipping out about it‚ getting defensive or argumentative, is extremely important. The problem of many, all their life they had a hard time taking criticism from anyone, and they have a sense that this is starting to damage their career. It doesn't help that their current boss always has something negative to say to everyone, so we never know how much weight to give his opinions. Here are few tips on how to get better at putting criticism to good use.

1) First, work on changing your reaction to receiving feedback. "Listen to the messages you get from people close to you‚ your spouse, children, close friends, or other family members. Write them down and consider them food for thought. If certain messages seem to pop up repeatedly, try to analyze them objectively and come up with ideas on what you might do to change those perceptions.

2) When getting feedback from a boss or colleague, listen without commenting, looking directly at the person. When they have finished, ask questions if you need clarification. Don't agree, don't deny, and don't rationalize. What if your boss is yelling at you? It is rarely taught how to give feedback well, so you might get criticism from someone who's angry about something in the moment. If it gets to the point of being abusive, ask to stop the discussion and have it again at another time when emotions have had a chance to cool off.

3) Recognize that, for many people, it takes courage to give honest feedback. Most people don't enjoy being the bearer of bad news, so someone who is willing to be frank with you about your shortcomings most likely intends his or her comments as a gift, intended to help you grow. Thank the giver for the feedback. Make it short, but something you can say sincerely, such as, "You've really given me something to think about, thanks."

4) Immediately write down all you can recall of the feedback. Then give yourself a couple of days to process the information. Watch what you do and say and how others respond to it. Was there a kernel of truth in the criticism? How can you change your behavior to respond to it?

5) When you know you're facing tough feedback‚ an evaluation that may address a recent mistake, for instance‚ plan something nice for yourself afterward, like dinner with friends, or a date to do something you're especially good at. Although criticism is simply someone else's and that can make it harder to focus on what you need to change.

6) If you feel the need to vent to friends about the feedback, go ahead, but ask them not to react to the substance of it (since they may not be the most objective). It would be normal to want to invalidate criticism, and get others to back you up, but you could lose what may be a critical grain of truth if you do.

The most essential thing to remember about all criticism is that it is one opinion coming from another individual's unique perspective. It's up to you to do something positive with it. It's impossible for us to see ourselves as others see us, but very important not to allow those blind spots to jeopardize wonderful opportunities.

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Gibran K. Gibran: The Farewell - Part II

Listen to GIBRAN KHALIL GIBRAN in his Masterpiece, THE PROPHET:

These mountains and plains are a cradle and a stepping-stone.

Whenever you pass by the field where you have laid your ancestors look well thereupon, and you shall see yourselves and your children dancing hand in hand.

Verily you often make merry without knowing.

Others have come to you to whom for golden promises made unto your faith you have given but riches and power and glory.

Less than a promise have I given, and yet more generous have you been to me.

You have given me deeper thirsting after life.

Surely there is no greater gift to a man than that which turns all his aims into parching lips and all life into a fountain.

And in this lies my honour and my reward, -

That whenever I come to the fountain to drink I find the living water itself thirsty;

And it drinks me while I drink it.

Some of you have deemed me proud and over-shy to receive gifts.

To proud indeed am I to receive wages, but not gifts.

And though I have eaten berries among the hill when you would have had me sit at your board,

And slept in the portico of the temple where you would gladly have sheltered me,

Yet was it not your loving mindfulness of my days and my nights that made food sweet to my mouth and girdled my sleep with visions?

For this I bless you most:

You give much and know not that you give at all.

Verily the kindness that gazes upon itself in a mirror turns to stone,

And a good deed that calls itself by tender names becomes the parent to a curse.

And some of you have called me aloof, and drunk with my own aloneness,

And you have said, "He holds council with the trees of the forest, but not with men.

He sits alone on hill-tops and looks down upon our city."

True it is that I have climbed the hills and walked in remote places.

How could I have seen you save from a great height or a great distance?

How can one be indeed near unless he be far?

And others among you called unto me, not in words, and they said,

Stranger, stranger, lover of unreachable heights, why dwell you among the summits where eagles build their nests?

Why seek you the unattainable?

What storms would you trap in your net,

And what vaporous birds do you hunt in the sky?

Come and be one of us.

Descend and appease your hunger with our bread and quench your thirst with our wine."

In the solitude of their souls they said these things;

But were their solitude deeper they would have known that I sought but the secret of your joy and your pain,

And I hunted only your larger selves that walk the sky.

But the hunter was also the hunted:

For many of my arrows left my bow only to seek my own breast.

And the flier was also the creeper;

For when my wings were spread in the sun their shadow upon the earth was a turtle.

And I the believer was also the doubter;

For often have I put my finger in my own wound that I might have the greater belief in you and the greater knowledge of you.

And it is with this belief and this knowledge that I say,

You are not enclosed within your bodies, nor confined to houses or fields.

That which is you dwells above the mountain and roves with the wind.

It is not a thing that crawls into the sun for warmth or digs holes into darkness for safety,

But a thing free, a spirit that envelops the earth and moves in the ether.

If this be vague words, then seek not to clear them.

Vague and nebulous is the beginning of all things, but not their end,

And I fain would have you remember me as a beginning.

Life, and all that lives, is conceived in the mist and not in the crystal.

And who knows but a crystal is mist in decay?

This would I have you remember in remembering me:

That which seems most feeble and bewildered in you is the strongest and most determined.

Is it not your breath that has erected and hardened the structure of your bones?

And is it not a dream which none of you remember having dreamt that building your city and fashioned all there is in it?

Could you but see the tides of that breath you would cease to see all else,

And if you could hear the whispering of the dream you would hear no other sound.

But you do not see, nor do you hear, and it is well.

The veil that clouds your eyes shall be lifted by the hands that wove it,

And the clay that fills your ears shall be pierced by those fingers that kneaded it.

And you shall see

And you shall hear.

Yet you shall not deplore having known blindness, nor regret having been deaf.

For in that day you shall know the hidden purposes in all things,

And you shall bless darkness as you would bless light.

After saying these things he looked about him, and he saw the pilot of his ship standing by the helm and gazing now at the full sails and now at the distance.

And he said:

Patient, over-patient, is the captain of my ship.

The wind blows, and restless are the sails;

Even the rudder begs direction;

Yet quietly my captain awaits my silence.

And these my mariners, who have heard the choir of the greater sea, they too have heard me patiently.

Now they shall wait no longer.

I am ready.

The stream has reached the sea, and once more the great mother holds her son against her breast.

Fare you well, people of Orphalese.

This day has ended.

It is closing upon us even as the water-lily upon its own tomorrow.

What was given us here we shall keep,

And if it suffices not, then again must we come together and together stretch our hands unto the giver.

Forget not that I shall come back to you.

A little while, and my longing shall gather dust and foam for another body.

A little while, a moment of rest upon the wind, and another woman shall bear me.

Farewell to you and the youth I have spent with you.

It was but yesterday we met in a dream.

You have sung to me in my aloneness, and I of your longings have built a tower in the sky.

But now our sleep has fled and our dream is over, and it is no longer dawn.

The noontide is upon us and our half waking has turned to fuller day, and we must part.

If in the twilight of memory we should meet once more, we shall speak again together and you shall sing to me a deeper song.

And if our hands should meet in another dream, we shall build another tower in the sky.

So saying he made a signal to the seamen, and straightaway they weighed anchor and cast the ship loose from its moorings, and they moved eastward.

And a cry came from the people as from a single heart, and it rose the dusk and was carried out over the sea like a great trumpeting.

Only Almitra was silent, gazing after the ship until it had vanished into the mist.

And when all the people were dispersed she still stood alone upon the sea-wall, remembering in her heart his saying,

A little while, a moment of rest upon the wind, and another woman shall bear me."

The End

Cartoon of the Week

How to Power Nap

Whether you're nodding off during the afternoon slump at the office, working a double or a night shift, or fighting drowsiness while driving, a power nap can make you more alert and productive, but only if you do it correctly. Scientists have been studying the power nap--when to take it, how to take it, what to take before you take it, and so on; their findings suggest that the following steps will help you get the most power out of a power nap.

1. Find a good place to nap
* Napping at work - A survey by the National Sleep Foundation found that about 30% of people are allowed to sleep at work, and some employers even provide a place for employees to nap. If your place of employment isn't nap-friendly, you can take a power nap in your car.
* Napping on the road - If you're driving, find a rest area to park in. Don't park on the shoulder. Always turn off the car and put on the emergency brake. If it's nighttime, park in a well-lit area with plenty of people around and lock all of your doors.
* Turn off your mobile phone and any other potential distractions. If background noise is unavoidable and distracting, or if you suffer from tinnitus, putting on headphones with relaxing music may help.
* If you're sleeping during the day and find that bright light inhibits your ability to sleep, wear sunglasses or use an eye mask to simulate darkness.

2. Have caffeine right before you nap
This may sound counter-intuitive since caffeine is a stimulant, but it won't kick in immediately. The caffeine has to travel through your gastro-intestinal tract, giving you time to nap before it kicks in. Taking a "caffeine nap" in which 200mg of caffeine are consumed right before a 20-minute nap will not only improve your performance, but it'll also lessen how sleepy you feel once you wake up. Skip the caffeine, however, if it's late in the afternoon--you'll have a hard time falling asleep later--or if you're trying to quit caffeine.

3. When you're close to finishing your coffee
(or your green tea, or your caffeine jello shot, etc.), set an alarm to go off in 15 minutes. If you're one of those people who has a habit of pressing the "snooze" button and going right back to sleep, put your alarm across the room so that you have to get up to turn it off. Immediately after consuming the caffeine, close your eyes and relax.
* Even if you can't sleep, close your eyes and meditate. You might not be used to napping, but if you incorporate short bouts of sleep into a daily routine (taking a nap every day after lunch, for example) you can "train".
* What you're doing during a power nap is capturing the benefits of the first two of the five stages in the sleep cycle. These first two stages take place in the first twenty minutes. In addition to making you feel more rested and alert, the electrical signals in your nervous system strengthen the connection between neurons involved in muscle memory, making your brain work faster and more accurately.
* After 15 minutes, not only will your alarm go off, but caffeine will also kick in and help since it blocks adenosine, the neurotransmitter that promotes fatigue.

4. Get up as soon as the alarm goes off
Sleeping for any longer than 20 minutes will be counterproductive. A half hour can lead to sleep inertia, making you feel sluggish and more tired than ever.
* Follow up with physical activity. Get your blood flowing with a few jumping jacks or push-ups, or a little bit of jogging in place.
* Washing your face and exposing yourself to bright light (e.g. sunlight) can help you feel more awake as well.

Picture of the Week

Logos, Flags, & Escutcheons by Paul Rand

"It reminds me of the Georgia chain gang," quipped the IBM executive, when he first eyed the striped logo. When the Westinghouse insignia (1960) was first seen, it was greeted similarly with such gibes as "this looks like a pawnbroker's sign." How many exemplary works have gone down the drain, because of such pedestrian fault-finding? Bad design is frequently the consequence of mindless dabbling, and the difficulty is not confined merely to the design of logos. This lack of understanding pervades all visual design.

There is no accounting for people's perceptions. Some see a logo, or anything else seeable, the way they see a Rorschach inkblot. Others look without seeing either the meaning or even the function of a logo. It is perhaps, this sort of problem that prompted ABC TV to toy with the idea of "updating" their logo (1962). They realized the folly only after a market survey revealed high audience recognition. This is to say nothing of the intrinsic value of a well-established symbol. When a logo is designed is irrelevant; quality, not vintage nor vanity, is the determining factor.

There are as many reasons for designing a new logo, or updating an old one, as there are opinions. The belief that a new or updated design will be some kind charm that will magically transform any business, is not uncommon. A redesigned logo may have the advantage of implying something new, something improved - but this is short-lived if a company doesn't live up to its claim. Sometimes a logo is redesigned because it really needs redesigning - because it's ugly, old fashioned, or inappropriate. But many times, it is merely to feed someone's ego, to satisfy a CEO who doesn't wish to be linked with the past, or often because it's the thing to do.

Opposed to the idea of arbitrarily changing a logo, there's the "let's leave it alone" school - sometimes wise, more often superstitious, occasionally nostalgic or, at times, even trepidatious. Not long ago, I offered to make some minor adjustments to the UPS (1961) logo.

This offer was unceremoniously turned down, even though compensation played no role. If a design can be refined, without disturbing its image, it seems reasonable to do so. A logo, after all, is an instrument of pride and should be shown at its best.

If, in the business of communications, "image is king," the essence of this image, the logo, is a jewel in its crown.

Here's what a logo is and does:
- A logo is a flag, a signature, an escutcheon
- A logo doesn't sell (directly), it identifies
- A logo is rarely a description of a business
- A logo derives its meaning from the quality of the thing it symbolizes, not the other way around
- A logo is less important than the product it signifies; what it means is more important that what it looks like
- A logo appears in many guises: a signature is a kind of logo, so is a flag. The French flag, for example, or the flag of Saudi Arabia, are aesthetically pleasing symbols. One happens to be pure geometry, the other a combination of Arabic script, together with an elegant saber - two diametrically opposed visual concepts; yet both function effectively. Their appeal, however, is more than a matter of aesthetics. In battle, a flag can be a friend or foe. The ugliest flag is beautiful if it happens to be on your side. "Beauty," they say, "is in the eye of the beholder," in peace or in war, in flags or in logos. We all believe our flag the most beautiful; this tells us something about logos.

Should a logo be self-explanatory? It is only by association with a product, a service, a business, or a corporation that a logo takes on any real meaning. It derives its meaning and usefulness from the quality of that which it symbolizes. If a company is second rate, the logo will eventually be perceived as second rate. It is foolhardy to believe that a logo will do its job right off, before an audience has been properly conditioned. Only after it becomes familiar does a logo function as intended; and only when the product or service has been judged effective or ineffective, suitable or unsuitable, does it become truly representative.

Logos may also be designed to deceive; and deception assumes many forms, from imitating some peculiarity to outright copying. Design is a two-faced monster. One of the most benign symbols, the swastika, lost its place in the pantheon of the civilized when it was linked to evil, but its intrinsic quality remains indisputable. This explains the tenacity of good design.

The role of the logo is to point, to designate - in as simple a manner as possible. A design that is complex, like a fussy illustration or an arcane abstraction, harbors a self-destruct mechanism. Simple ideas, as well as simple designs are, ironically, the products of circuitous mental purposes. Simplicity is difficult to achieve, yet worth the effort.

The effectiveness of a good logo depends on:
a. Distinctiveness
b. Visibility
c. Useability
d. Memorability
e. Universality
f. Durability
g. Timelessness

Most of us believe that the subject matter of a logo depends on the kind of business or service involved. Who is the audience? How is it marketed? What is the media? These are some of the considerations. An animal might suit one category, at the same time that it would be an anathema in another. Numerals are possible candidates: 747, 7-Up, 7-11, and so are letters, which are not only possible but most common. However, the subject matter of a logo is of relatively little importance; nor, it seems, does appropriateness always play a significant role.

This does not imply that appropriateness is undesirable. It merely indicates that a one-to-one relationship, between a symbol and what is symbolized, is very often impossible to achieve and, under certain conditions, may even be objectionable. Ultimately, the only thing mandatory, it seems, is that a logo be attractive, reproducible in one color and in exceedingly small sizes.

The Mercedes symbol, for example, has nothing to do with automobiles; yet it is a great symbol, not because its design is great, but because it stands for a great product. The same can be said about apples and computers. Few people realize that a bat is the symbol of authenticity for Bacardi Rum; yet Bacardi is still being imbibed. Lacoste sportswear, for example, has nothing to do with alligators (or crocodiles), and yet the little green reptile is a memorable and profitable symbol. What makes the Rolls Royce emblem so distinguished is not its design (which is commonplace), but the quality of the automobile for which it stands. Similarly, the signature of George Washington is distinguished not only for its calligraphy, but because George Washington was Washington. Who cares how badly the signature is scribbled on a check, if the check doesn't bounce? Likes or dislikes should play no part in the problem of identification; nor should they have anything to do with approval or disapproval. Utopia!

All this seems to imply that good design is superfluous. Design, good or bad, is a vehicle of memory. Good design adds value of some kind and, incidentally, could be sheer pleasure; it respects the viewer - his sensibilities - and rewards the entrepreneur. It is easier to remember a well designed image than one that is muddled. A well design logo, in the end, is a reflection of the business it symbolizes. It connotes a thoughtful and purposeful enterprise, and mirrors the quality of its products and services. It is good public relations - a harbinger of good will.

It says "We care."

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Gibran K. Gibran: The Farewell - Part I

Listen to GIBRAN KHALIL GIBRAN in his Masterpiece, THE PROPHET:

And now it was evening.

And Almitra the seeress said, "Blessed be this day and this place and your spirit that has spoken."

And he answered, Was it I who spoke? Was I not also a listener?

Then he descended the steps of the Temple and all the people followed him. And he reached his ship and stood upon the deck.

And facing the people again, he raised his voice and said:

People of Orphalese, the wind bids me leave you.

Less hasty am I than the wind, yet I must go.

We wanderers, ever seeking the lonelier way, begin no day where we have ended another day; and no sunrise finds us where sunset left us.

Even while the earth sleeps we travel.

We are the seeds of the tenacious plant, and it is in our ripeness and our fullness of heart that we are given to the wind and are scattered.

Brief were my days among you, and briefer still the words I have spoken.

But should my voice fade in your ears, and my love vanish in your memory, then I will come again,

And with a richer heart and lips more yielding to the spirit will I speak.

Yea, I shall return with the tide,

And though death may hide me, and the greater silence enfold me, yet again will I seek your understanding.

And not in vain will I seek.

If aught I have said is truth, that truth shall reveal itself in a clearer voice, and in words more kin to your thoughts.

I go with the wind, people of Orphalese, but not down into emptiness;

And if this day is not a fulfillment of your needs and my love, then let it be a promise till another day. Know therefore, that from the greater silence I shall return.

The mist that drifts away at dawn, leaving but dew in the fields, shall rise and gather into a cloud and then fall down in rain.

And not unlike the mist have I been.

In the stillness of the night I have walked in your streets, and my spirit has entered your houses,

And your heart-beats were in my heart, and your breath was upon my face, and I knew you all.

Ay, I knew your joy and your pain, and in your sleep your dreams were my dreams.

And oftentimes I was among you a lake among the mountains.

I mirrored the summits in you and the bending slopes, and even the passing flocks of your thoughts and your desires.

And to my silence came the laughter of your children in streams, and the longing of your youths in rivers.

And when they reached my depth the streams and the rivers ceased not yet to sing.

But sweeter still than laughter and greater than longing came to me.

It was boundless in you;

The vast man in whom you are all but cells and sinews;

He in whose chant all your singing is but a soundless throbbing.

It is in the vast man that you are vast,

And in beholding him that I beheld you and loved you.

For what distances can love reach that are not in that vast sphere?

What visions, what expectations and what presumptions can outsoar that flight?

Like a giant oak tree covered with apple blossoms is the vast man in you.

His mind binds you to the earth, his fragrance lifts you into space, and in his durability you are deathless.

You have been told that, even like a chain, you are as weak as your weakest link.

This is but half the truth. You are also as strong as your strongest link.

To measure you by your smallest deed is to reckon the power of ocean by the frailty of its foam.

To judge you by your failures is to cast blame upon the seasons for their inconsistency.

Ay, you are like an ocean,

And though heavy-grounded ships await the tide upon your shores, yet, even like an ocean, you cannot hasten your tides.

And like the seasons you are also,

And though in your winter you deny your spring,

Yet spring, reposing within you, smiles in her drowsiness and is not offended.

Think not I say these things in order that you may say the one to the other, "He praised us well. He saw but the good in us."

I only speak to you in words of that which you yourselves know in thought.

And what is word knowledge but a shadow of wordless knowledge?

Your thoughts and my words are waves from a sealed memory that keeps records of our yesterdays,

And of the ancient days when the earth knew not us nor herself,

And of nights when earth was upwrought with confusion,

Wise men have come to you to give you of their wisdom. I came to take of your wisdom:

And behold I have found that which is greater than wisdom.

It is a flame spirit in you ever gathering more of itself,

While you, heedless of its expansion, bewail the withering of your days.

It is life in quest of life in bodies that fear the grave.

There are no graves here.

Cartoon of the Week

Picture of the Week

Is a Bad Attitude Wreaking Havoc on Your Workforce?

I don’t know a single manager who hasn’t had an experience with bad attitude. Looking over my own management career I’ve fired three people, two of which were for performance issues ultimately related to “having a bad attitude.” To determine if this is normal, I conducted a quick survey and garnered more than 100 responses.

The question, “With respect to employees, define what you mean when you state an employee has a “Bad Attitude,” generated the following range of responses:
- Not a Team Player, Does the Minimum, Disrespectful
- Insubordinate, Always Negative, Unhappy
- Pessimistic, Offers no solutions, Surly
- Tardy, Gossipy, Clock Watcher
- Prima Donna, Contagious, Argumentative
- Work to Rule, Abrasive, Rude
- Confrontational, Disruptive, Inflexible
- Argumentative, Defensive, Sarcastic
- Poor communication skills, Unpleasant, Instigates Dissent

The most significant observation is that nearly 10% of the respondent’s employees (past and present) are still labeled as having a bad attitude.

With 10% of our employees “destined” to have a bad attitude, knowing how to deal with this issue, or better yet, how to avoid it, is a must for any manager.

Of that 10%, we fire, terminate, let go or constructively dismiss at least 67% (my 2/3 ratio was unfortunately extremely accurate for a single data point).

It is important to point out that we can’t (in most places) fire someone for having a “bad attitude,” yet it is often at the root of the reasons which justify the termination of many employees. Bad attitude affects productivity, customer service, the ability of teams to work together and it lowers morale.

Given these statistics, every employee - managers included - should know that cultivating bad attitude is a severely limiting and costly career decision.

The reason why people with bad attitude don’t last long in an organization revolves around the central theme of contagious. The person with the bad attitude is never content to keep it to him or herself. They do their best, consciously or unconsciously, to infect others with it.

Strong agreement in the survey revealed that a single bad attitude has a widespread and contagious negative impact on an organization with respect to levels of productivity. Regardless of the source of the problem, we must “fix” a bad attitude, the question is - how best to do that?

The survey attempted to answer that question. The responses to “What have you found to be the most effective solution to the problem of “Bad Attitude?” suggest a wide variety of solutions and approaches. However, based on the raw input, there is an admitted lack of ability in this area. Many of the solutions offered were identified by the submitter as being ineffective.

Is it any wonder that the “solution” of “letting them go” is our most common approach?

Here are some of the strategies gleaned from the survey:
- Constructive dismissal, Say goodbye, Find the Cause
- Positively ignore the issue, Not my problem, Lack of Will
- Negatively ignore the issue, Training, Counseling
- Prevent it from occurring, Procrastination, Reassignment
- Laying it on the line, Address the Issue, Peer Pressure

*It’s important to note these strategies taken from the survey represent potential “problems” as much as they represent suggested “solutions”.

Given that more than 2/3 of employees with bad attitude are terminated in some fashion, its obvious layoffs are the most commonly deployed “solutions.” It does however, raise an important question: “Did the termination solve the problem, or did it just sweep it under the rug by pushing the employee out into the street?”

Based on the survey results and my experiences both as a manager and as an external consultant, here are the most common reasons I’ve found for why people get labeled as having a bad attitude. I don’t claim it’s complete, but I’ve rarely seen a situation not covered by these seven “root causes.”

- Those who just don’t like working for a living
- Those unwilling to accept unavoidable change
- Those with psychological problems of some type
- Those with stress/life challenges unrelated to the organization
- Those who don’t like their current job
- Those who disagree with a management practice
- Those incorrectly labeled as having a bad attitude
And of course, some or all of the above.

If you have an attitude problem to solve, how do we determine which of these is most applicable? If we go back to the list of solutions offered by the survey respondents, we immediately see that some of them are non-starters. We can’t solve a problem if we believe it’s “not my problem”, or by having the lack of will to address it. The only hope we have to figuring out what’s going on is to have an honest, frank and important conversation with the person in question. Guessing what the problem might be only leads to more complications and problems.

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Gibran K. Gibran: Good & Evil

Listen to GIBRAN KHALIL GIBRAN in his Masterpiece, THE PROPHET:

And one of the elders of the city said, "Speak to us of Good and Evil."

And he answered:

Of the good in you I can speak, but not of the evil.

For what is evil but good tortured by its own hunger and thirst?

Verily when good is hungry it seeks food even in dark caves, and when it thirsts, it drinks even of dead waters.

You are good when you are one with yourself.

Yet when you are not one with yourself you are not evil.

For a divided house is not a den of thieves; it is only a divided house.

And a ship without rudder may wander aimlessly among perilous isles yet sink not to the bottom.

You are good when you strive to give of yourself.

Yet you are not evil when you seek gain for yourself.

For when you strive for gain you are but a root that clings to the earth and sucks at her breast.

Surely the fruit cannot say to the root, "Be like me, ripe and full and ever giving of your abundance."

For to the fruit giving is a need, as receiving is a need to the root.

You are good when you are fully awake in your speech,

Yet you are not evil when you sleep while your tongue staggers without purpose.

And even stumbling speech may strengthen a weak tongue.

You are good when you walk to your goal firmly and with bold steps.

Yet you are not evil when you go thither limping.

Even those who limp go not backward.

But you who are strong and swift, see that you do not limp before the lame, deeming it kindness.

You are good in countless ways, and you are not evil when you are not good,

You are only loitering and sluggard.

Pity that the stags cannot teach swiftness to the turtles.

In your longing for your giant self lies your goodness: and that longing is in all of you.

But in some of you that longing is a torrent rushing with might to the sea, carrying the secrets of the hillsides and the songs of the forest.

And in others it is a flat stream that loses itself in angles and bends and lingers before it reaches the shore.

But let not him who longs much say to him who longs little, "Wherefore are you slow and halting?"

For the truly good ask not the naked, "Where is your garment?" nor the houseless, "What has befallen your house?"

Joke of the Week

How you can tell when it's going to be a rotten day

1. You wake up face down on the pavement
2. You put your bra on backwards and it fits better
3. You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold
4. You see a "60 minutes" news team waiting in your office
5. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles
6. You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any
7. You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city
8. Your twin sister forgot your birthday
9. You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then realize that you don't have a waterbed
10. Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway
11. Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache
12. Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat
13. You hear a bird singing outside your window and it is a buzzard
14. You wake up and your braces are locked together
15. You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose
16. You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business
17. Your blind date turns out to be your ex.
18. Your income check bounces
19. You put both contact lenses in the same eye
20. Your pet rock snaps at you
21. Your wife says, "Good morning, Bill" and your name is Steve
22. You dream that you ate the biggest marshmallow on earth, and your pillow is missing
23. You're brushing your teeth in the morning and you're late for work. Later you find out that the tube you used is preparation 'H'.

To All Employers Sitting High on a Perch

Every company needs a little extra motivation now and then. Incentive programs, or Appreciation programs can assist you in helping your employees enjoy their job a bit more, and happy employees are more productive and work better with each other and your clients. Before considering an Incentive Program, have a look at your pay-scale. If an employee feels under-paid, an Incentive Program is not the answer for motivation.

Steps to building a good program:

a- Communication
Incentives on their own aren't enough. Opening up the lines of communication is a major goal for managers and upper management. An employee must know they can discuss work issues with 'the boss' without fear of being ignored, patronized, or hearing about it later from someone whom it doesn't concern. If an employee comes to you with a concern, get directly to the heart of the matter. Don't assure them this will pass, instead consider your options for solving the situation.
Make sure there is open communication between all your departments - staff and workers - and try including workers into management meetings to see there are no 'secret agendas'.

Incentives and rewards will be completely disregarded if your employees have no concern what the management thinks of them, and see the incentives only as a carrot on a stick.
The least expensive motivational tool is giving your employee more say in his or her assignments. Find out what procedures they think could be changed for efficiency, productivity, or ease and see if it's possible to make those changes. Give your employees more freedom in their work environment and make changes only when real problems begin.


b- Pick a Reward
Once your communications are open, suggest an incentive program and make a list of possible rewards. Have your employees vote to determine which rewards they would like to receive. Pay attention to the voting. If few employees vote, few care, and you may have other issues to resolve with your employees before implementing the program.
Remember, if a company pays its workers fairly, cash is rarely good motivation. It may win you a new hire, but current and long-standing employees prefer appreciation and rewards, which don't seem like a paycheck or bonus. Think of how many people consider a year-end bonus as part of their normal pay. To motivate them you need more, not to spend more, just something that can't be tossed in with a paycheck. Don't throw the rewards around aimlessly. There are only so many gold stars you can give out before a gold star doesn't mean anything anymore.
People who are happy while at work, enjoy their work more, and everyone benefits. Below is a list of some possible reward ideas. Some you can use to make your own list for your employees to choose.


c- Suggestions
* A simple 'Thank You' - appreciation of good work, especially in a personal note, is sometimes the most sincere reward
* Treat your employees with respect. Giving them a 'cute' reward might go over well in one business, but in another be seen as demeaning
* A program for rewarding employees who do volunteer work outside of the company
* Staff meetings anywhere but the office, possibly a nice diner or cafe
* Set up a secret pal for the holidays or any employee special days
* Make a 'Thanks for your help' box. Have employees put the name of a fellow employee who went beyond the call to help them. Draw a name monthly for a reward
* Start a birthday program. Have a gift delivered to an employee the week of their birthday
* Have employee 'field trips' at least once a year and rent out a skating rink, bowling alley, or get some tables at a great restaurant
* Reward perfect attendance with time off certificates
* Praise a job well done
* Give company swag - hats, shirts, jackets with the company name or logo. Don't give pens, notepads and mugs with the company name, those are better for your clients
* One-on-one meetings if an employee seems unhappy
* Employment anniversary cards - paper or electronic greeting card
* Event tickets when a goal is reached, let the group with the goal choose the event
* Casual lunch with staff to gauge how things are going within their unit


d- Setting Goals
The first rule to setting a goal for your employees is make it obtainable. Setting a series of smaller goals to reach a higher goal will sometimes be best. Remember, raising the mark too quickly or in too large steps will only discourage your employees. Let your employees get a bit comfortable on every level they reach, and work with them to decide if a new goal is just too high. There is sometimes a limit beyond which employees, production, and the company suffer.
Keep in mind, sometimes you must test ways to achieve goals. Rewarding the person with the most sales, may pit the sales staff against each other, while rewarding the sales staff for customer service and working with each other may make the group, as a whole, more productive.

A positive, enjoyable work atmosphere can be the best motivation.

Picture of the Week

Last Ones Standing
Buildings stand amid the charred landscape from the Green Mountain fire in Lakewood, Colorado. The fire blackened 300 acres, but no homes were lost.

Photography: Ken Papaleo - Rocky Mountain News, Colorado, Aug. 4, 2008

The 10 Lies of Account Planners

1. "They always say that. They don't mean that". A planner's key task is often to make sure the research ends up the way it's supposed to. So there's always tons of subtle (or not so subtle) meaning management on the client side of the one-way mirror. A top technique is to dismiss anything commonsensical, clear but inconvenient that the punters say as 'something they always say' like it's just a verbal tick and not something you should actually listen to.

2. "We're really interested in your feedback here". We're not really interested in your feedback. We're interested in your approval.

3. "This will enter the vernacular". No it won't. Whatever trite little phrase we've come up with won't enter the vernacular, it won't become part of ordinary speech and it won't therefore deliver tons of media value.

4. "I'm doing groups". I'm not doing groups, I couldn't be arsed to come in to work and I'm sitting at home. But you don't know that. You think planners are always doing groups, so I can get away with this.

5. "That's how Innocent does it. Or maybe not Innocent. Maybe Honda or Pot Noodle or whoever is cool and interesting at the moment". We don't know how Innocent does it, but we've read something in a book about how someone says Innocent do it, and it's similar to what we think you should do.

6. "We're going to own yellow. Or blue or whatever". We're not going to own yellow. Coke don't own red. Pepsi don't own blue. Orange don't even own orange. So this silly little campaign with lots of yellow won't let you own yellow. Bananas own yellow. Or custard. We won't. (Creatives love this one, it's normally them who make you say it.)

7. "It's not statistically significant". No-one really knows what that means. But it allows you to explain anything except the really disastrous stuff in the tracking study.

8. "I think there's something wrong with the recruitment". Allows you to explain the really disastrous stuff in the tracking study.

9. "Here's a little thought-starter". Really means hey, creatives, here's the thought that solves the whole problem and you don't need to do any more work, I've cracked it, just like that, just write it up and away we go.

10. "I find it more efficient to take notes straight onto my laptop". I'm not taking notes, these are the most tedious groups I've ever been to in my life. I'm playing solitaire.

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Gibran K. Gibran: The Coming of the Ship

Listen to GIBRAN KHALIL GIBRAN in his Masterpiece, THE PROPHET:

Almustafa, the chosen and the beloved, who was a dawn onto his own day, had waited twelve years in the city of Orphalese for his ship that was to return and bear him back to the isle of his birth.

And in the twelfth year, on the seventh day of Ielool, the month of reaping, he climbed the hill without the city walls and looked seaward; and he beheld the ship coming with the mist.

Then the gates of his heart were flung open, and his joy flew far over the sea. And he closed his eyes and prayed in the silences of his soul.

But he descended the hill, a sadness came upon him, and he thought in his heart: How shall I go in peace and without sorrow? Nay, not without a wound in the spirit shall I leave this city.

Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?

Too many fragments of the spirit have I scatterd in these streets, and too many are the children of my longing that walk naked among these hills, and I cannot withdraw from them without a bruden and an ache.

It is not a garment I cast off this day, but a skin that I tear with my own hands.

Nor is it a thought I leave behind me, but a heart made sweet with hunger and with thirst.

Yet I cannot tarry longer.

The sea that calls all things unto her calls me, and I must embark.

For to stay, though the hours burn in the night, is to freeze and crystallize and be bound in a mould.

Fain would I take with me all that is here. But how shall I?

A voice cannot carry the tongue and the lips that give it wings. Alone must it seek the ether.

And alone and without his nest shall the eagle fly across the sun.

Now when he reached the foot of the hill, he turned again towards the sea, and he saw his ship approaching the harbour, and upon her prow the mariners, the men of his own land.

And his soul cried out to them, and he said:

Sons of my ancient mother, you riders of the tides, How often have you sailed in my dreams. And now you come in my awakening, which is my deeper dream.

Ready am I to go, and my eagerness with sails full set awaits the wind.

Only another breath will I breathe in this still air, only another loving look cast backward,
Then I shall stand among you, a seafarer among seafarers.
And you, vast sea, sleepless mother,
Who alone are peace and freedom to the river and the stream,
Only another winding will this stream make, only another murmur in this glade,
And then shall I come to you, a boundless drop to a boundless ocean.

And as he walked he saw from afar men and women leaving their fields and their vineyards and hastening towards the city gates.

And he heard their voices calling his name, and shouting from the field to field telling one another of the coming of the ship.

And he said to himself:

Shall the day of parting be the day of gathering?

And shall it be said that my eve was in truth my dawn?

And what shall I give unto him who has left his plough in midfurrow, or to him who has stopped the wheel of his winepress?

Shall my heart become a tree heavy-laden with fruit that I may gather and give unto them?

And shall my desires flow like a fountain that I may fill their cups?

Am I a harp that the hand of the mighty may touch me, or a flute that his breath may pass through me?

A seeker of silences am I, and what treasure have I found in silences that I may dispense with confidence?

If this is my day of harvest, in what fields have I sowed the seed, and in what unrembered seasons?

If this indeed be the our in which I lift up my lantern, it is not my flame that shall burn therein.

Empty and dark shall I raise my lantern,
And the guardian of the night shall fill it with oil and he shall light it also.

These things he said in words. But much in his heart remained unsaid. For he himself could not speak his deeper secret.

And when he entered into the city all the people came to meet him, and they were crying out to him as with one voice.

And the elders of the city stood forth and said:

Go not yet away from us.

A noontide have you been in our twilight, and your youth has given us dreams to dream.

No stranger are you among us, nor a guest, but our son and our dearly beloved.

Suffer not yet our eyes to hunger for your face.

And the priests and the priestesses said unto him:

Let not the waves of the sea separate us now, and the years you have spent in our midst become a memory.

You have walked among us a spirit, and your shadow has been a light upon our facs.

Much have we loved you. But speechless was our love, and with veils has it been veiled.

Yet now it cries aloud unto you, and would stand revealed before you.

And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

And others came also and entreated him.

But he answered them not. He only bent his head; and those who stood near saw his tears falling upon his breast.

And he and the people proceeded towards the great square before the temple.

And there came out of the sanctuary a woman whose name was Almitra. And she was a seeress.

And he looked upon her with exceeding tenderness, for it was she who had first sought and believed in him when he had been but a day in their city.

And she hailed him, saying:

Prophet of God, in quest for the uttermost, long have you searched the distances for your ship.

And now your ship has come, and you must needs go.

Deep is your longing for the land of your memories and the dwelling place of your greater desires; and our love would not bind you nor our needs hold you.

Yet this we ask ere you leave us, that you speak to us and give us of your truth.

And we will give it unto our children, and they unto their children, and it shall not perish.

In your aloneness you have watched with our days, and in your wakefulness you have listened to the weeping and the laughter of our sleep.

Now therefore disclose us to ourselves, and tell us all that has been shown you of that which is between birth and death.

And he answered,

People of Orphalese, of what can I speak save of that which is even now moving your souls?

Cartoon of the Week

Picture of the Week

First prize, Foreign News Category, Silver Camera 2007.
Relatives grief over the death of Lebanese Red Cross worker, Haitham Sleiman, who was killed during fighting between the Lebanese Army and Islamist militants in the Palestinian Nahr El Bared refugee camp.

Photography: Jerry Lampen - Reuters, Northern Lebanon, June 12 2007